There is always hope for sinners. The holy bible testifies as to how God, in the course of time, has been calling and inviting us, his people, to return to him, turn from our wickedness and change our lives. He has been faithfully engaging us in the dialogue of conversion and constantly intervening in our human affairs.
Remember what he said in Ezekiel 18: 23: “Do I want the death of the sinner? Do I not rather want him to turn from his ways and live?” Which means, our well-being, our welfare and our salvation is always at the top of God’s consideration.
In relation to this, Prophet Isaiah has something to tell us which we can get from his words. What is this?
First is that, to come to terms or to be reconciled with God is always God’s initiative. When there’s a desire to change ourselves, it is actually God’s voice speaking to our hearts and urging us to do so. Conversion, then, is ultimately God’s grace at work;
The other one is that, our conversion, which I consider an interior work-in-progress, must be visible in the way we live our lives. Not that we are only good in words, but not in action. But this, as I recognized, is humanly challenging.
Dom John Main, OSB, a meditation guru, said: “The external conversion is of no use unless it is inspired and springs from an inner conversion of the heart.” Conversion, therefore, is best expressed in the silence of action.
Today, we are enjoined to heed to God’s invitation calling us to conversion. And to make use of our time while we are still afforded with enough time and chances to correct ourselves and straighten our ways.
There’s never too late for a repentant sinner. There’s still hope for all of us. Only if we respond and obey.
A friend shared her troubles. There have been nights of anguish and sorrow that she was enduring in the past months. The difficult situation of the lockdown and the movement and work restrictions in the City added to her emotional suffering and even heightened the way she’s handling her troubles. There’s so much anger, hatred and self-blame in her heart. Something has triggered her painful memory of the past that relived the physical and emotional abuse she suffered from her father. That painful memory brought fresh anguish and sorrow, as well as those feelings of anger, hatred and self-blame.
These emotional suffering became episodes of attacks to the point of having sleepless nights and empty feelings during the day. As she said, she could not find a way on how to reconcile things, find peace and realize forgiveness. Her traumatic memory was just too painful to forget.
Though that memory happened in a distant past but it remains fresh in her mind every time she remembers that. Indeed, this happens when a traumatic memory is merely buried in forgetfulness and covered by pretensions that as if nothing had happened. However, not unless that past of horror is accepted, embraced, confronted and be forgiven and not forgotten, only then, a person achieves peace and reconciliation.
How important really then, is forgiveness? Is it possible at all to forgive without forgetting?
This Sunday’s Gospel, the response of Jesus to the question of Peter regarding the number of times to forgive others and the parable he gave to his disciples tell us of God’s invitation to forgive and its important in the way we live our life as Christians and in our desire to live in freedom.
We have heard Peter how he asked Jesus about how many times he should forgive. For the Jews a righteous man should forgive those who have hurt them for four times. However, Peter exceeded that and made it to seven. He thought he has more than enough. Nevertheless, Jesus responded to him that not just seven times but seventy seven times. The number actually does not matter. What Jesus is saying is that, forgiveness has no limit.
Why is that? Why forgive without limit? It is even so difficult to forgive even once especially when the person who hurt us is someone we love and someone we trust. As what my friends shared to me, most of our pains are sometimes rooted from our relationships especially when we are betrayed or abused or deceived by a family member or friends.
The pain and suffering that come from those broken relationships create deep wounds in us. And will forgiveness be possible then? Yes, it is. And forgiveness will always be a call for each of us.
Hence, unless we find forgiveness in our hearts that begins with accepting and embracing those painful experiences and go on with life, then, we will not be free.
Remember, forgiveness will make us free. It will not erase the scar of betrayal or of abuse or of deceit in our life but we will be able to stand up, to wipe our tears and go on with life.
Forgiveness then is not about telling the person, that what he/she did was okay and pretend as if nothing happens. No! Forgiveness is to heal our wounded heart that will make us say to the person, “I forgive you not because of who you are but because of who I am.” This is what the Dalai Lama said. This means that to forgive is not about to forget. To forgive is not to allow that painful memory to hurt us again in the present and to be freed from grip of violence.
Forgiveness, then, also is not really for the person who hurt us or those who caused us the pain but rather it is all about us. The pain that we endure will lead us to feelings of anger, hatred and bitterness. When we linger to these they will lead us to a heart that seeks revenge. This will become our tendency from our belief that by hurting the person back, our anger and hatred will be satisfied. But then, we are wrong because anger and hatred will never be satisfied by violence. Violence will only make us angrier, hateful and bitter person. The more we linger to our pain, anger and hate; they become a cycle that will never end. The Book from Sirach reminds us about this, that wrath and anger are hateful things that we sinners love to hug them tight.
Advertisements
This is how a person can create a cycle of violence, of revenge, of anger and hatred mostly directed towards ourselves. We will become prisoner of our own pain. All of these will control our lives, our thoughts and actions. We will never be free. We will begin to become suspicious to our other relationships. We will be afraid of trusting others, of loving others again and even ourselves. We are fearful because we linger to that pain thinking that other people might do it again to us. Hence, the cycle begins.
This, indeed, is the attitude of an unforgiving person portrayed by Jesus in the parable. The person who was all cleared by the king from his debts became unforgiving and unkind to his fellow servants. Despite the kindness and the forgiveness shown by the king to him, he turned to be filled with hatred and resentment towards those who were indebted to him. He was violent, vicious and hateful. Thus, while causing pain and damage to others because of being unforgiving, he too later on was punished and suffered more.
This is what Jesus is saying to us now and he wants us to forgive many times because a single un-forgiveness will only make us prisoner of our own pain and hatred. Jesus wants us to be free and not prisoners of anger, hatred, and bitterness or of violence. Jesus invites us to find life and freedom in forgiveness.
In this way, we may always find reconciliation with God and with those who have hurt us so that in return, we too shall also be forgiven by those we hurt in one way or in many ways. Hinaut pa.
Who wants to be corrected? Who wants to be criticized? Being with our friends, with our family or with a community, we cannot really avoid conflicts and tensions. However, a particular difficult situation can be more problematic when we become unwelcoming to corrections and to criticism.
Jesus, in today’s Gospel offers us practical steps to overcome such situations in order to arrive in a mature way of attaining peace and reconciliation.
Let us also bear in mind that because of the biases and discriminations that have been built up in us, we can become vicious when we are confronted by others because of our faults. That’s why, Jesus told us how to approach gently a person when we confront them of their faults or when we are being confronted. Yet, knowing that we can exercise forms of denial and refusal to admit our mistakes, then, Jesus affirms the need of the participation of the community. The Lord affirms this as he told us, “for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
Before I proceed deeper into the participation of the community, I would like to invite you that we look first and remind ourselves of our tendency to deny and refuse to be confronted and criticized of our sins and failures.
Thus, I would like to share with you the two forms of denial that may become our attitude when confronted by others.
First, when confronted, we might tend to overemphasize the faults of others yet; there will be no acknowledgement of our personal defects and sinfulness. This overemphasis of the faults of others is a mere cover up of one’s skeletons hidden in the closet. It is a way of taking revenge cruelly.
Second, when confronted, we could display an air of self-righteousness and arrogance in our hearts; claiming that we are always right and good and never committed any mistake. As a result, we could become violent to our critics and would even seek to destroy them. This kind of attitude boasts oneself of his or her good image but hungry of recognition and praise from people around him or her.
Moreover, there is actually wisdom and goodness in criticism in itself and by being confronted by others. This is how others, friends, family members and our community play a big role in conversion and transformation.
Nevertheless, we also remind ourselves also of these two kinds of criticism. There is a constructive criticism and destructive criticism.
A constructive criticism seeks the good of my brother and sister. In this criticism, we do not seek to ridicule the person but to help the person to grow and learn from mistakes and failures. It gives both positive and negative feedbacks. This is done with honesty and sincerity. St Paul in his letter to the Romans reminded us too to express our love for one another. Indeed, in this way we express it concretely because this seeks the good of the others. We fulfill, then, the law, because it does no evil to our neighbor, but goodness and love.
This is basically what Jesus offers us in the Gospel today.
Jesus offers us to do it intimately and confront the person personally. If this will not work, then, Jesus suggests to bring a common friend to serve as a mediator. Yet, if the two will not work and the person continues to refuse, then we seek the judgment of the community or of the Church.
On the other hand, what we avoid and what Jesus does not want to happen is when we choose the destructive criticism, which is hateful because it desires damage to my brother and sister. It is destructive because it puts down and humiliates the person and has no desire to help the person to grow and to learn. Destructive criticism is a mere accusation that is filled with bitterness and hate.
Thus, this is done with evil intent. It is usually done when we talk behind the person in initiating, perpetrating and joining others to destroy the image of a person, like in gossiping.
Advertisements
Jesus does not want us to be that bitter and hateful accuser of our brothers and sisters but rather disciples of him who are humble enough to recognize our wrongdoings, and courageous enough to speak what is unjust and oppressive around us. Jesus desires that each of us becomes free by being able to recognize our sins so that transformation of hearts will be possible. It is in this way that we become a help to one another, so that as parents, leaders, mentors and authority figures, we will not be leading others blindly but with humility and willingness to be corrected, affirmed and challenged.
This is where we can find the need of the participation of the community, and that is to be united in prayer. To be united in prayer is to become discerning both in our words and actions. To be united in prayer also practically suggests that we are in a community, and we are a community. When we become united in prayer, then, we allow the Lord to be present in us.
Thus, to be able to truly confront the sins and failures present in our community, we are called also that we unite in prayer. This also include that we bring, in the spirit of prayer, our effort to confront and correct one another so that we will grow and become the persons God wants us to be.
To be united in prayer is not just about asking God’s favor to grant our petitions. To be united in prayer then, is to pray in the name of Jesus and that is according to the mind, heart and will of the Lord.
To be united in prayer also means to change our hearts and minds according to the will of God and not changing God’s mind and heart according to our own desires. As a community, this will help us to be able to trust in God and to give our hearts to God so that we can grow according to God’s desire for us. Hinaut pa.
A DOSE OF GOD TODAY 