Not all generous people are truly grateful. Yet, grateful people are always generous. What does it mean? One’s generosity can be colored by our selfish intentions or motivated by our self-interest. Like for example, we can be generous to people in our workplace especially to the higher ups because we want them to like us, a way, of perhaps, securing a good position or promotion. Politicians can be publicly generous of their resources, time and presence particularly when election is coming up, well, because that is self-promotion. We can pamper a person we like so much, giving gifts and treats because we want the person to like us in return.
These forms of generosity or kindness are acts of selfishness that only seek to advance self-interest. In fact, Paul in his letter to the Philippians, exhorts the community and warns them of this tendency. He said, “Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory… regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interest.”
This kind of spirit is very essential in a Christian community that exists in a worldly and self-centered society. Paul also realized that selfishness is not the way of Christians because this tendency leads to corruption of life and of faith. It is only by being a person for others, being a community for others that believers of Christ will truly grow in the faith and in their relationship with one another.
Moreover, Jesus in today’s Gospel taught a leading Pharisee on how he should express his kindness and generosity. This Pharisee must be influential and rich in that community and Jesus saw how the guests were filled with the same influential and wealthy people. Thus, Jesus challenged him to express his kindness and generosity to people who need most. This was Jesus’ call to the Pharisee to move out of selfishness and to be truly generous and not for the sake of advancing self-interest.
Hence, the Lord also invites us today to grow in our gratitude to God and to others. Only in this attitude of the heart that we shall also be able to go beyond from the tendency to look only for ourselves and own benefit. Gratitude in our heart will make us kind and generous to people who around us who need most our help and presence. This is our true expression of faith. Kabay pa.
How do I assess my inner-self? Am I dictated by my inmost desires and needs that I tend to be selfish? Am I driven by my passions and impulses to the point that I judge and act thoughtlessly? Am I easily overwhelmed by my emotions that I react harshly and violently towards others? Or do I take the time to gather my thoughts and reflect on what to act and say despite the external tensions? Am I aware of my wants and prioritizes my needs? Am I also socially aware and connected with people around me and of their needs? Do I find balance in all aspects of my life?
These questions bring us into a greater awareness of ourselves that also invite us to be grounded and become a balanced person, in a holistic sense. We believe that God’s desire for us is indeed, to live life fully and become the person God wants us to become. Hence, anything that dampens our spirit, that suppresses our person to grow and become mature, hampers also our freedom and of our capacity to give life to others.
This is something we have also heard in today’s readings. In fact, Jesus strongly pointed out the malicious attitudes of the Pharisees and scholars of the law for being so narcissistic yet unconcerned and unmoved of the difficulties of the people around them.
Moreover, St. Paul in his letter to the Galatians reminded the people of the tendency to be driven and be overwhelmed by the “works of the flesh” that basically are self-centered, malicious and of evil origin. Paul’s warning to the people was his concern for them that they may not to be drowned by human passions and desires. These will only lead them to emptiness and separation from the grace of God.
Thus, Paul reminded them “to live in the Spirit and to follow the Spirit” because only then that we shall be able to embrace true satisfaction and contentment. Consequently, the Spirit gives joy, peace, love, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are the graces that we should seek and that we need.
This is the invitation for us today and that is to live in the Spirit and to follow the Spirit. Hence, we pray for that grace that we may become more open and welcoming to the movements of the Holy Spirit in us, on the many promptings and invitations for us. Let us allow the Spirit to challenge us and inspire us especially when we are overwhelmed by our human desires and selfish tendencies. Kabay pa.
A friend who lives in the US, fell in love with a fellow Filipino. The reason why she fell in love was because the man was so sweet to her. She felt that he showed care and concern for her. Just like any other suitor, she would always receive a message from him greeting her every morning. The constant communication provided by the social media sites opened a great opportunity for the two of them to be connected with each other and be intimate despite the distance.
Things like these melt her heart and soon enough said her yes to him. Just after a year, she went home here in the Philippines to get marry with that man whom she thought will be her “forever.” Few months after their wedding, things became odd and strange for her. Her husband was actually secretive to her. And lo and behold, there was an occasion when she found out that her husband was in relationship with another woman. Later, she too found out that she was just used by that man to secure a green card for the United States. She too found out that her husband and his girlfriend planned it all along so that they will be able to migrate to US for a greener pasture for the two of them.
My friend was completely devastated when she knew this. She felt violated and indeed was deceived by the person whom she loved so much. She was so angry and helpless that every time she remembers it, it gives her so much pain and disgust.
Some of you might have also this kind of experience where you were also deceived and used by people who were significant to your life. Indeed, this causes so much pain and suffering to us when those people whom we trusted and loved, used us for their personal gain.
A similar experience of deception and destructive attitude for personal gain has been told to us in today’s Gospel. The passage from the Gospel of John narrates to us how Jesus also felt the pain when the Temple of God was used by the merchants as a way to enrich themselves. The House of God was abused by these people for their personal gain, for their own profit at the expense of the poor and ordinary Jews.
Thus, Jesus was so angry upon witnessing this kind of attitude from the people. Jesus could not accept that the people focused on what they can gain materially in the name of Religion and in the name of God. More so, Jesus was disgusted when those people used that opportunity to exploit the poor by having an unfair and expensive prices for animals to be offered on the altar. The merchants made sure that the animals that shall be offered to the Temple must only come from them. Because of that monopoly in the market, they made the prices of the animals twice as expensive to its original price. What they did was neither for the Temple nor for God but simply to gain more profit for themselves.
What has been done was a violation to God’s covenant, to the relationship built on trust and love between Yahweh and His people. The Temple is a symbol of that relationship of the Hebrew people and God. The Temple was the image that God is with His people, faithful and loving. Yet, the people used this relationship also for the sake of personal gain and pleasure.
This reveals to us now how we can be cunning and deceiving also in our own relationships. There is a tendency in us to use other people for our personal gain and pleasure. We please others for the sake of gaining favors from them. We build connections from others in order to boast ourselves and advance our personal agenda which is very common in the political arena; not just in politics but even in religious and our personal relationships.
Consequently, we have been given with the ten commandments proclaimed in the first reading. The ten commandments which basically talked about our relationships with God and our neighbor present to us the proper and right attitude in relating to God and with one another. These commandments are not designed to limit us or to put mere restrictions in relating with another, but rather, making us freer and life giving as we build and develop relationship with God and with one another.
Therefore, the ten commandments are given to us so that we will be able to give life and celebrate life. This is essentially what the covenant of God is all about, giving life and celebrating life. A true relationship then is not about what we can profit from others, but about growing together and finding joy with one another.
This is the call for all of us then, on this Third Sunday of Lent – and that is to be true and authentic in our relationships with one another. The commandments provide us the way on how we can freely love God and the person next to us. And that our relationship is not about what we can gain or profit but rather what we can give and invest in our family, with your husband or wife, your children, friend, our community and God. Truly, it is in mutual giving that we also find our relationships more flourishing and fulfilling.
Now, I want to invite each of you to do something for this coming week as we continue to observe the Season of Lent. There are two invitations that you may do for those special people who could be your partner in life, children, friend or community.
First, invest your time and presence. It means give enough time to be there for them, to listen to their concerns and problems. Let your presence be felt by them who have become afraid, lonely and ashamed.
Second, say to thank you to those people who are special to you. Express your gratitude to them and to the relationship that you have with them. It also means that you are to recognize the gifts that they have and the things that they did to you.
Hopefully, these attitudes will make our relationships with God and with one another stronger and sincere and that we will relate not on the motivation on what we can profit and gain from others, but on how we can give life and meaning to each other. Hinaut pa.
Why do some human relationships cause more pain and harm than joy and peace in us? Why do some human relationships fail and eventually hurt us for the rest of our life? We have seen how broken human relationships bring people towards desperation, loneliness, bitterness, anger and hatred. The jealousy, unfaithfulness, insecurities, betrayal and irresponsibility can cause havoc and damage to our human relationships whether at home, at work, among lovers and couples, among friends and communities.
But if we would really look at its roots, we will surely find “selfishness” as the active agent that corrupts our human relationships. Our tendency to advance our personal agenda, to prioritize what is only good for ourselves, to secure benefits for ourselves alone and to satisfy our personal desires above others will eventually make us very toxic to our relationships.
Thus, a selfish lover or spouse will turn out to be abusive and emotionally manipulative. A self-centered parent can become controlling and even violent in words and actions towards the children. A self-centered friend can be constantly seeking recognition and praise from others or could be insisting to always consider his or her comfort but unwilling to compromise for the sake of others. These are just few examples of possible actions and tendencies of selfishness that can certainly destroy and cause damage to our relationships.
That’s why, we also long for a relationship that will truly help us as persons and mold us to become better persons. The readings today have very important message for us and for our human relationships.
For our human relationships to have a grounding and a better foundation, our relationships must be rooted in God not to our personal preferences and selfish intentions. This means that becoming a disciple of Jesus leads towards a healthy and holy human relationships. This is what Jesus meant as he said, “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, he cannot be my disciple.”
Though hating one’s family member seems to be so harsh for us today, but Jesus did not mean the English word “hatred.” This is a Jewish idiom that meant for “preferences.” Thus, Jesus meant that when we give more preference or priority to others than God, then, we cannot be his disciple. Our human relationships too will lose a good foundation.
Hence, Jesus also said, “everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple.” The possessions, which could be our wealth and material things, self-image and fame, position and influence, achievement and status in the community, may possess us to the point that they become our priority rather than God and loving others through service.
God asks us today to make Him as our priority over our other priorities. What is more beautiful here is God’s invitation for us to make our relationship with Him as the “life and soul” of our human relationships. It is from our relationship with God that, hopefully, we will become responsible and generous persons especially as we relate with others as a parent, sibling, a child, a friend or as a professional or whatever work, profession and status we have now.
This is what Paul also expressed in his letter to the Philippians. A community that lives in the presence of God and rejoices in God’s presence “will shine like lights in the world.” Therefore, giving priority to God and making God the very center of our human relationships will transform us like lights in the world.
Consequently, we will also witness how a couple whose relationship is grounded in God becomes loving and inspiring to others. A family whose relationship prioritizes God becomes a source of comfort, security and joy, becoming a true home. A friendship where the Lord plays the most important part among friends becomes welcoming and discerning.
This is how the Lord moves us as we make God the very priority of all our human relationships. We may all work on this so that we will also become less and less self-centered and selfish and become more self-giving and life-giving. Hinaut pa.
A DOSE OF GOD TODAY 