Peace! Kalilintad! Shalom!

Tag: Seeking Affirmation

  • AM I SEEKING TO PLEASE PEOPLE? 

    AM I SEEKING TO PLEASE PEOPLE? 

    October 3, 2022 – Monday of the 27th Week in Ordinary Time

    Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/100322.cfm)

    Do I do good to seek the affirmation of others? Do I do things for others in order to gain their recognition and acceptance? Our past experiences of rejections, not being affirmed, not being recognized and accepted by others, could give us the anxiety. In order to compensate what has been deprived from us such as our childhood need for acceptance, affirmation and recognition could become our hang-ups even when we are already a grown-up.

    We would tend to please others by being good and kind, by doing any demands from others to us, by meeting every expectation from us just to gain their approval and affirmation. We could also display such attitude that would praise another person through our flattery words and extra attention given in order to seek to gain favor. Or, we could be more aggressive by directly demanding from others that we should be affirmed and recognized by soliciting such honor from others.

    What St. Paul asked, “Am I seeking to please people?” sheds light on this attitude of the heart. Paul wrote to the Galatians and reminded them that his presence among them and his ministry to them in preaching the Gospel of Christ was not about seeking their attention or even to please them or any other person. The Galatians who after receiving the Gospel of Christ from Paul was about to seek the approval of Jewish Christians who demanded that the new Christians and not Jewish before should accept first the Jewish Law and its religious practices. Only then that the Galatians will be considered as good Christians and be accepted.

    However, Paul did not agree with this. Such intention is a perversion of the Gospel. Faith in the Risen Lord is not about being able to please another culture and religious belief just to be accepted. The Gospel of Christ being received by Christians is not about pleasing another in order to be welcomed in the community. Faith in the Lord and the Gospel of Christ are the elements that constitute the life of a Christian.

    This is what we have also heard in today’s parable in the Gospel of Luke. The Samaritan did not seek to please others but he did what he should do as a human person to another human person who was in need of help. Jesus used this parable in order to respond to the question of a scholar of the Law on what to do to inherit eternal life.

    Thus, it is by being able to love God though our expression of loving one’s neighbor that we inherit eternal life. The good deeds, kindness and mercy that we do to a person in need is not about pleasing another but an expression of faith and devotion, of love and hope in God. To inherit eternal life is, therefore, also not about to please God in order to gain that favor but in showing mercy. Mere strict observance of religious practices and traditions could become our way of pleasing another like our flattery words and actions to another. If mercy does not flow from our religious traditions, prayers and devotional practices, then, these become our mere attitude of currying favors.

    May our actions, our thoughts, our kindness, goodness and mercy shown to others be our expression of that love of God and not in simply seeking to please others. Kabay pa.

  • God is Generous

    God is Generous

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    September 20, 2020 – 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time

    Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/092020.cfm)

    Homily

    To seek recognition, affirmation and praise are all part of growing up. We see this among our children as they always try to get the attention of their parents or among the adults around them. Children have their own way of getting attention. However, when parents become indifferent to this need of a child, this could leave a hallow and painful part in the life of a child. Thus, when the child becomes an adult, he or she  would most probably continue seeking recognition and affirmation from people around in order to satisfy that need which the person did not receive from home.

    We could be this person who continually seek to be recognized, affirmed and praised. There is nothing wrong with this need. However, this could also lead us to become bitter, unsatisfied and envious of others despite the talents we have developed or despite the success we have achieved. We would tend to accumulate more and demand for more praises and affirmations to the point of becoming indifferent towards the needs of others.

    The tendency to accumulate more praises and demand for greater reward because of the good qualities we have can only poison our hearts and relationships. This tendency makes our heart unwelcoming to others who need more than us.

    This attitude was what the Pharisees showed at the time of Jesus. They believed that their superiority made them deserving of all God’s goodness and graces. They cannot accept the teaching of Jesus that others could also experience the goodness of God. They despised Jesus for offering God’s forgiveness and gift of healing to the poor, the sick, and sinners. They despised Him because they believed that God’s grace was reserved for them alone.

    This is what we find in the Gospel. It teaches us how God treats all of us, showing concern and compassion.

    This parable speaks of the generosity of the landowner towards the workers. The first ones who were hired on that day felt jealous with those who were hired at the last hour. The first ones worked the whole day and the last ones worked only for an hour. But then, they all received the same wage according to the agreed wage for that whole day work.

    The first ones were disappointed because they thought that those who only worked for an hour did not deserve for that wage. Since they worked hard, they should be above them and those who worked less should not be treated like them. But then, for the landowner, if he will not give the usual wage for those who were hired last then the food that they will bring for their families will not be enough. They will still starve on that day. It means that the parable actually is not about labor issues but of God’s generosity to each of us.

    Indeed, this is what we always believed that when we are more gifted than the others, more intelligent, more educated and so the more we feel entitled, and seeking to have more; and those who are lesser than us, should have less. When we feel that we are more religious, going to church and saying the rosary daily, we might think that we are far better than those who don’t go to church and do not pray. When we feel that our educational achievements, our status in the community, or our material possessions make us higher in dignity than others, then, we might believe that we can just ignore those whom we think as lesser than us, and become indifferent with those who do not belong to our class.

    Unconsciously, we also become like the Pharisees who did not have the sympathy for those who were struggling in life. The poor, the sick and the weak sinners at the time of Jesus can be today’s young people who have been addicted to drugs, to alcohol, to gambling or any addiction not because they are bad but because of family problems, broken relationships and low self- esteem. They can also be our friends or family members whom we continually bully because they are weaklings, untalented and less intelligent than us. They can be people working for us or those who are around us and doing menial jobs just because they did not have much opportunities like you to uplift their life.

    But remember, God relates to us not merely because of the effort that we did but because of “who we are” to Him. God is good to us not because we are deserving but because God is so good and generous. We are all loved by him no matter what, no matter how big our failures were, no matter how serious our sins are.

    Thus, for those who have worked hard, for those who have been so faithful to God, this gospel is not meant to discourage you for working hard, for doing your daily devotion but this is meant for us to know that God is generous also towards those who are less fortunate. And we have the role to lift up those who are less fortunate in this life. For those of us who felt that we are lesser beings, felt unworthy because of our mistakes, failures and sins – this Gospel is truly good news for us because God tells us today that we too are blessed because we are loved. Hinaut pa.

    Jom Baring, CSsR