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Tag: Holy Family

  • BY CHOICE than Adoption

    BY CHOICE than Adoption

    December 31, 2023 – Feast of the Holy Family

    Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/123123.cfm)

    How many of you here have experiences with adopted children? Be might you an adopted child yourself, or have adopted a child in a family as son/daughter, or brother/sister or relatives. Child adoption has never been an easy experience within the family. It entails a lot of adjustments and complications not only to the adopted child but also to the parents and the whole family as well.

    I remember once I counselled a couple who have no child of their own and have decided to adopt a child. As the child grew and eventually learned that she is adopted, they observed that their child becomes problematic and difficult. I advise them to try to take care of the child even more, as well as to acknowledge the child not as adopted- someone taken on, which connotes someone who is “sabit o sakay lang” but as chosen “pinili”, as someone they have chosen as their own among other abandoned children.  The child might not be their own but the child is whom they have personally chosen as their own. Essentially, the child then is chosen – the one they have chosen, not only adopted.

    Either by natural birth or adoption, as a child, we are not only taken and accepted but moreso Chosen “Pinili” by our own parents and family. Thus as parent, your child then might be or not be your own, but basically you choose your child. We are chosen children then, not only of God but also by our own fathers and mothers, and our own family as well.

    Christmas reminds us that God comes into our lives as a Child – not as fully grown man or as superman or as god, but as a poor child on a manger. For a child to live and grow, God’s child needs a human parent and family like any other child. Jesus Christ, God’s son has to be taken, accepted, adopted and above all chosen by human parents and family. He grew up then in, with, through his family who adopted and chosen Him to be their own. And In a Family Jesus was born, loved, lived and have grown as a Person. Not in a Monastery or Convent. Once I receive a Christmas card that say: “A child is born in our midst”. Well that’s okay because that is the core message of Christmas. But what made me suspect then was that card was sent from the sisters’ convent. Imagine sisters’ sending me a message that a child is born in their midst”. Me batang ipinanganak sa kanila. Hmmm??? Yes, God’s son has a family, a foster parents and family who chose Him to be their own.

    Today we honor the Holy Family, the very first family who welcomes and willingly accepts the Immanuel “the God with us” into our lives. Mary and Joseph are the very first parents who adopted and chosen the child of God Jesus to be their very own as member of their family. Our gospel today gives us a description on how Mary and Joseph do their best to parent the child Jesus into their own lives as they observe their own local cultural and religious traditions, while conscious of the mysterious unique experience of adopting and choosing God’s blessing into their lives. Yes, with Mary and Joseph they are and become a normal human family; but with the child Jesus, they are and become a HOLY family – now member of God’s family.

    Honoring the Holy Family on Christmas season posts the on-going ever-present challenge for us, like Mary and Joseph to adopt and parent Jesus, God’s child by choice into our lives now and always. By willingly accepting Jesus into our lives to be our own, part of our own lives as family and community, we come to know also that we also are and becoming God’s adopted and chosen children and people, part of His Holy Family. Sa ating pag-angking kay Hesus na ating kapamilya, tayo ay naging at maging ka-anak rin ng Dios at kamag-anak ng anak ng Dios. As we consider Jesus as our chosen family member, we are and become God’s children and Jesus family.

    With the Holy Family, this Christmas season, and the coming New Year remind us always that God comes to us as a Child, who can brings us a lot of joys as well as uncertainties, but above all another chance to live our lives for the better, as His willing chosen parent and family. Have a Grace-filled Christmas and New Year to all us. Amen.

  • Parenting 101

    Parenting 101

    Decemember 26, 2021 – Feast of the Holy Family

    In our Wednesday novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help, one intention we pray is that we may learn to adapt to our growing children. Parenthood, as we all know, is not only about raising children but also adjusting to our growing children. Thus, to parent a child is more than just caring for the growth of the children; it is also learning in the process, as children grow in maturity and age.

    Being Redemptorist missionary involved in parish, retreat, missions, and migrant ministry for many years, I became aware of the difficulties of parenthood. Difficult it is to adapt with life-changes, how much more adapting to growing children. In confessions and counseling sessions with faithful people, I become conscious of the hurts & pains suffered by both parents and children in their difficulties with parenthood. Parents hurt by their children’s disobedience, i.e., going against their will; children blaming their parents for their misfortunes in life. Sipmply because of our limitations in parenthood. Parenthood indeed is not an easy task, & rightly so that we pray to OMPH that we may learn from our experiences of adapting to the growth of our growing children.

    Today, we honor the Holy Family, the family who parent the child Jesus. Our gospel tells us that like any other family, the Holy Family also experienced the difficulties of parenthood. As parent, Joseph and Mary followed the proper traditions of raising the child Jesus. They did their best. But as we all know, they also experience how Jesus became disobedient to them, going against their will.

    Surely parents here could resonate with the hurts, pains, and anxieties they experience when children start to grow up and be on their own. Like my mother would even say, when we, her children started to have our live our own, “Kung puede palang ibalik sa tiyan.” (If I could only bring you back in my womb…) It is the same way with the experience of a hen that raises ducks as her chicks. When the duck-chicks, which by nature a swimmer, start to swim and float on a fond, the mother hen – because she cannot swim would be extremely worried and anxious that her chicks-ducks might get drowned. This is also what and how Joseph and Mary experienced parenting Jesus. When the child Jesus began to grow up in age & maturity, his parents also experienced the difficulties of parenthood.

    However, the Holy Family’s experience might teach us more about parenting and parenthood, especially in terms of adapting to our growing children.

    First, Parenthood is a whole family matter – not only of parents but also of children. To parent a family is not only about the husband-and-wife tandem in raising their children but it is more on the dynamic teamwork between parents and children. If it was difficult for Mary and Joseph to raise and adjust with Jesus, it was also difficult for Jesus to grow up in his own family. In as much as being parent is difficult, we also know that growing up maturely (to be on our own) is difficult. If Jesus only obey his parents’ will, I wonder would we able to benefit from and share with the salvation God has given us through Jesus, who did not remain a child of Mary and Joseph but become our Christ, our Savior? As the parent adjust, children also adjust.

    Second, Parenthood is also about trusting in God’s way of parenting us – of raising and forming us His children. Inasmuch as we are tasked to parent our little ones – raising and adapting to their growth, we must never forget that ultimately God is our Father, our ultimate parent; and we are all His children. If we do want the best for our children, God also knows, wants, and does what is best for each one of us. God knows what was best for us when we were children, surely, he knows what is best for us when we become mature adult parent to His little ones. If we do want our children to obey us, we also are to obey God our father who knows best & better than what we want. So, trust and have faith in God’s will, in God’s way of parenting us.

    To parent a child is to work together then with one another as family of parent and children as well as to work with and in deep faith and trust of God’s way of parenting us.

    Christmas challenges us Christian to be responsible parents of Jesus in our lives today. Parenting our growing children is also our way of being responsible to the child and adult Jesus – God’s word made flesh, into our very lives now, according to God’s will & not our own ways.

    As we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family, we pray that the Holy Family will continue to inspire all Christian families and communities in parenting our growing children for God’s glory, not ours. Amen.

  • GIVE THANKS. EMBRACE. PRAY.

    GIVE THANKS. EMBRACE. PRAY.

    December 27, 2020 – Solemnity of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

    Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/122720.cfm)

    Homily

    Few days before Christmas, I gave an Advent Recollection to a group of Church volunteers. At the beginning of the recollection, I asked them to describe their gratefulness as well as their feelings at that moment. A couple in their late fifties, were already in tears. At the end of the recollection one of my invitations is “to never forget to embrace their loved one and to spend quality time this Christmas.” The couple again were in tears.

    After the recollection, they shared to me the reasons of those tears. They were in so much anxiety and worries because their son has been away from them. They found it difficult to communicate with him and to know his situation. They did not know where he was exactly at that moment. The mother couldn’t sleep well thinking of her son. The father was restless and helpless on how he could help and comfort his son. Both of them were in tears because they have missed so much their son.

    To the disappointment of the couple as parents, their other children have shown less compassion and understanding to their sibling. The siblings considered the other one as a black sheep and rebellious. Yet, to them as parents, he is a son in need of so much understanding and love. They wanted to hug him tightly yet, they could not do it. They wanted to comfort him, yet, they could not because they cannot reach him. It was a great pain in the hearts of these parents who are longing of the presence of their son.

    Conflict in the family such as this, is just one of the common problems that our families have to struggle and find way to be resolved. The hope for reconciliation is a longing that we pray for.

    Moreover, there are also other issues and problems that millions of Filipino Families are facing today. It would be good also to recognize those issues and see how God is inviting us on this Feast of the Holy Family.

    The recent SWS survey said that 48% or about 12 million Filipino families considered themselves poor. Out of this, 2 million families were “Newly Poor” while 1.3 million were “usually poor” and 8.6 million were “always poor.”[1]

    In addition, the COVID-19 Pandemic restrictions also led to the closing of many non-essential businesses, which resulted to the loss of many jobs and means of livelihood. The SWS survey in October also revealed that the unemployment rate in the country is now at 8.7%, equivalent to around 3.8 million jobless Filipinos.[2]

    The Philippine National Demographic and Health survey said that in 2017, one in four Filipino women aged 15-49 suffered domestic abuses, physically, emotionally and sexually. However, this rate has significantly increased since the lockdown imposed in March due to the Covid-19 Pandemic. There is an average of 8 cases of women being maltreated or raped reported from March to May 2020.[3] These are just the documented reports, how about those countless unreported cases? They suffer in silence.

    These are concrete situations that many of our Filipino families are suffering. In the midst of these struggles, children are also the most vulnerable. Children suffer the most. Our own families might have also particular struggles and difficulties. Surely, these concerns are most of the time what consume us.

    The Holy Family of Mary, Joseph and Jesus is not exempted of struggles and problems. Remember, the holy family had been a refugee. Joseph has to bring Mary and Jesus out of Israel and went to Egypt to seek for a safer environment for their baby.

    There seemed to be a constant threat in the life of the young Jesus, yet, this did not discourage Joseph and Mary to abandon the child. Joseph particularly was always conscious of God’s presence. This was the reason also why Joseph would always receive instructions from God on what to do. The awareness of Joseph that God is with them made him more familiar with God’s voice deep within his heart.

    In today’s Gospel, this awareness of God is being described to us in wonderful scenarios. First, Mary and Joseph, conscious of their family tradition as well of the identity of baby Jesus, went to Jerusalem and presented Jesus to the Lord God. This was an act of thanksgiving to the Almighty God for the gift of this child.

    This is the first invitation for us today – to give thanks. Develop a grateful atmosphere in your family. Consciously say “thank you” to your spouse and children. Whenever your family gathers whether during a meal, a trip or in a celebration, give thanks to each other and to God, the source of all blessings.

    Second, Simeon, a devout and righteous man had been waiting for the time to see and embrace the Son of God. And this was fulfilled. The long wait of Simeon was paid with peace and joy. He was able to hold tightly the child Jesus in his arms. That must be a great consolation to him. Having Jesus in his arms, Simeon saw the salvation and the light of God.

    This is the second invitation for us – to embrace the Lord and embrace one another. Our family might be longing for peace, longing for comfort – take courage, the Lord is here as Simeon proclaimed. The Lord is waiting for us that we will embrace him. Peace and joy begin to unfold in our families when we also open our arms in reconciliation and in gentleness, to embrace each other. Let not the violence of our fist and anger in our heart destroy our families and children.

    Third, Anna the prophetess, was also there to witness this great wonder of meeting the Lord. Anna immediately recognized that the child Jesus was the promised savior. Anna was so patient and prayerful. These attitudes in her made her to long more for God. This longing in her heart made her to be open and welcoming. With this, Anna’s heart found comfort and joy. All her troubles and pain had gone away.

    This is the third invitation for us – to pray together as a family. Through our prayer, let usconsciously long for God and joyfully meet the Lord in our struggles and problems. To run away for our problems or to hide because of our fears is never the solution. There are those who find comfort in drinking and gambling and other vices to forget their problems yet, this kind of response only create more problems. Unfaithfulness, indifference and violence in the family will be nurtured by this kind of attitude. We are invited rather to confront our issues and allow the Lord to touch us through our prayers. Gather your family around your altar. Cultivate a family tradition that prays together. Let our families go the Church, and there in our Sacraments, allow also the Lord to be with you and to bless you.

    With these invitations, we may hopefully ease the pain of loneliness, comfort the hearts of the troubled, heal the memories of those who are suffering and assure with our presence those who are confused and afraid. May our families then, be blessed by the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Hinaut pa.

    [1] https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/1371761/almost-half-of-filipino-families-feel-they-are-poor-latest-sws-survey-says

    [2] https://www.rappler.com/business/unemployment-rate-philippines-october-2020

    [3] https://www.ucanews.com/news/domestic-violence-all-the-rage-in-philippine-lockdown/89821#