Tag: Constructive Criticism

  • WHY DO WE QUICKLY JUDGE OTHERS?

    WHY DO WE QUICKLY JUDGE OTHERS?

    March 2, 2025 – Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time

    Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/030225.cfm)

    Do we often find ourselves judging quickly others or to speak ill of someone?  Is it easy for us then, to find faults and ugly things when we are with others? Does our speech express bitterness as we describe others?

    Judging others is actually natural to us. It is our way of assessing possible threats. We use it to create social order and hierarchy. It also helps reinforce our own beliefs and values.[1]

    Yet, when we find ourselves having such tendencies, we might also easily fall towards self-righteousness and superiority. When we only focus on what is wrong and ugly in everything and everyone, we become more inclined to complain. We accuse and blurt out the faults and failures of others. This behavior creates a lot of toxicities and negativity in our relationships.

    We may be unaware of the poisonous attitude we bring. We could believe and think that we have the best ideas and solutions. We might also think we have the best personality and attitude. Yet, we become a person who is very difficult to deal with. We are difficult to please and in need of constant affirmation.

    On this Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time, the Lord calls to pinpoint such tendencies in us. This is for our own growth as a Christian Community. Let us discern together the invitations in our liturgical readings this Sunday. They concern the intentions behind the words we speak.

    In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus wanted his disciples to realize the danger of self-righteousness. This leads to bitterness, discontentment and insecurity. We need to recognize our own faults and sinfulness. We should not undermine them by finding the fault of others.

    Jesus addressed the Pharisees and Scribes who seemed to be so righteous, yet, sick and sinful inside. Jesus compared them to blind men leading the blind. They noticed the splinters in other people but were blind to the beams in front of their own eyes. Jesus called them hypocrites.

    This was clear at how these people would always notice even the minutest details of the defects of others. They were filled with complaints and biases against others. These people’s malicious words consistently attacked Jesus and his disciples. Their words revealed their evil intentions.

    In fact, the First Reading from the Book of Sirach reminds us of the image. It says, “when a sieve is shaken, the husks appear, so do one’s fault’s when one speaks.” When we speak and use words that destroy others’ reputation, we reveal that we have a sick and rotten heart. Words that degrade and hurt others also show this. Similarly, words that only curse and bring insult to others reveal the evil in us.

    Jesus captures this in his words, “an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil.” Let us be mindful then of things that we nurture in our heart because these are manifested in what we speak.

    Moreover, to pinpoint the wrong or the faults of others is not entirely wrong. It is also our moral responsibility to express what is not good. Indeed, there is  wisdom and goodness in criticism in itself.

    We remind ourselves also of these two kinds of criticism. There is a constructive criticism and destructive criticism.

    A constructive criticism seeks the good of my brother and sister. In this criticism, we do not seek to bring insult to the person but to help the person grow and learn from mistakes and failures. It gives both positive and negative feedback. This is done with honesty and sincerity from our part.

    On the other hand, destructive criticism is hateful and malicious because it desires damage to my brother and sister. It is destructive because it puts down and humiliates the person and has no desire to help the person to grow and learn. Further, it is a mere accusation filled with bitterness and hate. In the words of Pope Francis, when we tend to destructively criticize and simply accuse others, then, we are friends of the devil because the devil is the Great Accuser. Thus, this is done with evil intent. We commonly do this when we talk behind to speak ill about the person in initiating, perpetrating and joining others to destroy the image of my brother or sister.

    Jesus does not want us to be that bitter and hateful accusers. Jesus desires that each of us becomes free. We achieve this freedom by being capable of recognizing our sins. This recognition makes the transformation of hearts possible. In this way we become a help to one another, so that as parents, leaders, mentors and authority figures, we will not be leading others blindly but with humility and willingness to be corrected, affirmed and challenged.

    As disciples of Jesus, he demands consistency in our words and actions, in the way we relate with others and with God, and in the way we look at ourselves.

    And so for this Sunday, these are your take-away.

    First, let us begin in recognizing our own “beams,” of our inconsistent words from our actions, our bitter and hateful words, our quick judgments and biases against others and other attitudes that make us hypocrites. Remember, when we choose to blind ourselves from these, then, there is a danger of making ourselves distant from God, from others and from our own reality.

    Second, avoid speaking ill of others, even in joining or perpetrating or encouraging others to do so. This makes our heart free from bitterness.

    Third, constructively correct others. Use words that uplift and motivate others to become better persons rather than being harsh and portraying ourselves to be superior. That’s again the attitude of a hypocrite.

    As we dare to look at ourselves and confront the evil within us, may we also find Christ most willing to embrace us. Hinaut pa.


          [1] Mike Robbins, “Why do we judge others?,” published on February 15, 2024,

    https://mike-robbins.com/the-gifts-of-judgment/#:~:text=We%20judge%20others%20as%20a,our%20own%20beliefs%20and%20values. (Accessed on February 26, 2025).

  • Be united in prayer because Christ is in the midst of us

    Be united in prayer because Christ is in the midst of us

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    September 6, 2020 –  23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

    Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/090620.cfm)

    Homily

    Who wants to be corrected? Who wants to be criticized? Being with our friends, with our family or with a community, we cannot really avoid conflicts and tensions. However, a particular difficult situation can be more problematic when we become unwelcoming to corrections and to criticism.

    Jesus, in today’s Gospel offers us practical steps to overcome such situations in order to arrive in a mature way of attaining peace and reconciliation.

    Let us also bear in mind that because of the biases and discriminations that have been built up in us, we can become vicious when we are confronted by others because of our faults. That’s why, Jesus told us how to approach gently a person when we confront them of their faults or when we are being confronted. Yet, knowing that we can exercise forms of denial and refusal to admit our mistakes, then, Jesus affirms the need of the participation of the community. The Lord affirms this as he told us, “for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

    Before I proceed deeper into the participation of the community, I would like to invite you that we look first and remind ourselves of our tendency to deny and refuse to be confronted and criticized of our sins and failures.

    Thus, I would like to share with you the two forms of denial that may become our attitude when confronted by others.

    First, when confronted, we might tend to overemphasize the faults of others yet; there will be no acknowledgement of our personal defects and sinfulness. This overemphasis of the faults of others is a mere cover up of one’s skeletons hidden in the closet. It is a way of taking revenge cruelly.

    Second, when confronted, we could display an air of self-righteousness and arrogance in our hearts; claiming that we are always right and good and never committed any mistake. As a result, we could become violent to our critics and would even seek to destroy them. This kind of attitude boasts oneself of his or her good image but hungry of recognition and praise from people around him or her.

    Moreover, there is actually wisdom and goodness in criticism in itself and by being confronted by others. This is how others, friends, family members and our community play a big role  in conversion and transformation.

    Nevertheless, we also remind ourselves also of these two kinds of criticism. There is a constructive criticism and destructive criticism.

    A constructive criticism seeks the good of my brother and sister. In this criticism, we do not seek to ridicule the person but to help the person to grow and learn from mistakes and failures. It gives both positive and negative feedbacks. This is done with honesty and sincerity. St Paul in his letter to the Romans reminded us too to express our love for one another. Indeed, in this way we express it concretely because this seeks the good of the others. We fulfill, then, the law, because it does no evil to our neighbor, but goodness and love.

    This is basically what Jesus offers us in the Gospel today.

    Jesus offers us to do it intimately and confront the person personally. If this will not work, then, Jesus suggests to bring a common friend to serve as a mediator. Yet, if the two will not work and the person continues to refuse, then we seek the judgment of the community or of the Church.

    On the other hand, what we avoid and what Jesus does not want to happen is when we choose the destructive criticism, which is hateful because it desires damage to my brother and sister. It is destructive because it puts down and humiliates the person and has no desire to help the person to grow and to learn. Destructive criticism is a mere accusation that is filled with bitterness and hate.

    Thus, this is done with evil intent. It is usually done when we talk behind the person in initiating, perpetrating and joining others to destroy the image of a person, like in gossiping.

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    Jesus does not want us to be that bitter and hateful accuser of our brothers and sisters but rather disciples of him who are humble enough to recognize our wrongdoings, and courageous enough to speak what is unjust and oppressive around us. Jesus desires that each of us becomes free by being able to recognize our sins so that transformation of hearts will be possible. It is in this way that we become a help to one another, so that as parents, leaders, mentors and authority figures, we will not be leading others blindly but with humility and willingness to be corrected, affirmed and challenged.

    This is where we can find the need of the participation of the community, and that is to be united in prayer. To be united in prayer is to become discerning both in our words and actions. To be united in prayer also practically suggests that we are in a community, and we are a community. When we become united in prayer, then, we allow the Lord to be present in us.

    Thus, to be able to truly confront the sins and failures present in our community, we are called also that we unite in prayer. This also include that we bring, in the spirit of prayer, our effort to confront and correct one another so that we will grow and become the persons God wants us to be.

    To be united in prayer is not just about asking God’s favor to grant our petitions. To be united in prayer then, is to pray in the name of Jesus and that is according to the mind, heart and will of the Lord.

    To be united in prayer also means to change our hearts and minds according to the will of God and not changing God’s mind and heart according to our own desires. As a community, this will help us to be able to trust in God and to give our hearts to God so that we can grow according to God’s desire for us. Hinaut pa.

    Jom Baring, CSsR