Parenting by Choice

December 21, 2025 – Fourth Sunday of Advent

Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/122125.cfm)

Two brothers went for enrollment. When asked about their age & birthday, both are eight years old – one borne on August 8 & the other on August 21. When asked to explain, both smiled & said they have asked their parents about it. And their parents just reply; “we don’t remember anymore who is natural or adopted. All we know that regardless, you are both chosen & loved.

We call God, our father. And rightly so, we call him “Father” because God did not only become our father but He also chooses to be our father. To parent us to be His children is God’s choice, not only by obligation. In the same way to parent our children is not only an obligation but more so our choice. One may disown their children, but someone has to choose to be responsible to the child as parent. 

Take for example, St. Joseph, the foster father of Jesus. God is the Father of Jesus. And Joseph, as Mary’s husband, becomes the foster-father of Jesus. Joseph did not need to be the father of Jesus, but he chose to become the earthly father of Jesus. He chose to be a father to Jesus who is not of his own. Not out of obligation but out of choice that Joseph became the foster-father of Jesus. 

In the same way, unlike mothers who needs to be a mother by nature to her child, fathers don’t have to or need to be a father to his child. Some fathers do escape such responsibility. But come to think of it, our very own father are the very first person, aside from our mother, who chooses us to be his own child. As a child, we are chosen by our fathers. Fathers choose their children. You are chosen by your fathers. Our fathers own us by choice, not only by obligation.

In our gospel today, we hear the story of the birth of Jesus as experienced by Joseph. If we really come to think of it, Joseph’s experience of the birth of Jesus is a story of being  held accountable for something not-yours. Joseph’s experience of Jesus’ birth is a story of “Nagmahal, Nasaktan, Pinapanagut”.

Obviously, Joseph Nagmahal, – has loved. He loved his wife to-be Mary very much. He is willing to grow old and have a family with Mary. He is a just and righteous man who will do everything for his marriage and family to-be. But Joseph is also Nasaktan (of being hurt). Joseph was also hurt by what happened. Who would not be hurt and pained when you just learned that your beloved is already pregnant before you lived together and the baby is not-yours? Ang sakittttttt. Can we blame Joseph for planning to quietly divorce Mary? We can easily relate with the broken-hearted Joseph. And worse, Joseph is Pinapanagut – of being held responsible and accountable for all of these things.

If it is hurtful and hurting to learn that your wife to-be is already pregnant of a baby who is not-yours, how much more if you are pinapanagut – being held accountable and responsible for the baby? If you are Joseph, are you willing to take responsibility? Are you ready and willing to take responsibility for the so-called “unwanted” child? Would you still love your “unfaithful” wife to-be who is now pregnant with a child not-yours?

This is the story of Joseph as he experienced the birth of the Messiah. A story of being held accountable for something and someone not-yours. Nagmahal, nasaktan, pinapanagut sa hindi kanya. Loved, hurt, and being held responsible for something or someone not-yours.

 

The story of Joseph is also the story of our salvation. As the Lord offers us His beloved Son into our lives, we are asked to be like Joseph, i.e. to be held responsible for God and others – someone and something not-ours. Pinapanagut rin tayo. Like Joseph, we are being held accountable for His Son Jesus, for the sake of God and others, and not for our own sake. Pinapaangkin sa atin ang Kanyang Anak – to accept His Son as our very own.

And in doing so, in taking responsibility for God, like Joseph, we will love and be hurt along the way, and will be held accountable for something or someone not-ours. Because, only by taking responsibility and be held accountable for Jesus like Joseph, God’s grace and salvation continues to prosper and fulfill into our lives today. Thus, God’s incarnation requires our responsibility – our ability to response for God’s sake than ourselves.

Here  we have much to learn from Joseph himself. As he went through the difficult experience of being accountable for God’s Son, he always honors and only listens to God’s message to him. Despite his confusions, frustrations, and broken-heartedness, Joseph simply listens to God’s message, honors God’s will, and hopes on God’s promise of Emmanuel “God is with us”, being responsible and accountable for Him. By always honoring and listening to God’s will and message to us, we become more responsible for Emmanuel, God with us. 

Here we also come to realize that the history of our salvation is a story of parenting by choice. God our father chooses to be our parent by entrusting us His own beloved Son Jesus Christ, and as well as we choose to parent God’s child into our lives, God’s blessings & graces of salvation thrive always into our lives.

Just like Joseph, by adopting & taking responsibility for Jesus into our lives, not of obligation but by choice, the holiness & sacredness of God’s become flesh & dwell amongst us… regardless since we are chosen & loved.

Christmas is already near upon us. Actually the Lord has already came and arrived into our lives. But do we welcome Him into our lives? Do we follow Him and let Him change and influence our lives? Are we willing to be held responsible and accountable for Him, our God with us?

The season of Advent requires  of us to  “Be awake & Be Prepared”,  “Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand” , “Go and Tell others what we have seen & heard” &  “Not be Afraid to take home” . Meaning awareness, repentance, witness & parenting the Holy Family into our lives now are enough preparations for us to receive & celebrate once again & anew God’s blessings upon us now & forever.

We pray then that like Joseph and Mary, we may be willing responsible people and accountable parent for the Lord into our lives by always listening and responding to God’s message and will for us, now & always. So May It Be. Amen.