Break the Cycle of Invalidation

April 5, 2025 – Saturday Fourth Week of Lent

Click here for the readings (https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/040525.cfm)

Have you ever experienced being “invalidated”? This may take in a form of invalidating or discrediting our feelings, thoughts or person. What commonly happens is the emotional invalidation. This happens when we deny, reject or dismiss an emotional expression or feelings of another. It is a way of telling the person that his/her emotions are not important or wrong at all. This may be intentionally or unintentionally because we are not aware of such invalidation of other people’s emotions.

Some expressions would sound like these. “You better move on. I have a similar experience like yours and I have move on already.” – advising a friend who is experiencing a heartbreak.

“Don’t be too anxious. Anyway, we are here for you.” – as if comforting a dear friend who have anxiety attack because of pressure at work/family.

“Don’t get upset and stop overthinking. There are always failures in life.” – an advice to a friend to brush off one’s feeling over a failure.

“You better not feel that way. It was not the intention of the person, anyway.” – giving comfort and advice to a friend who felt violated, hurt over an action of another person.

We might believe that by invalidating the feelings of others or the person himself/herself is our way of giving them friend support, comfort and understanding. However, this is not the case. By invalidating the feelings of others whether of a special someone, a family member, a friend or anybody else is not respecting one’s feelings and person. By invalidating others, we tend to focus our gaze on ourselves making our hearts apathetic and filled with prejudice.

This kind of experience also happened to Jesus. There were people who tried to invalidate and discredit the identity of Jesus not just the thoughts and feelings of Jesus. They questioned his origins, his family background and status.

People began to make reasons in order not to invalidate and reject him. The officers of the Temple and Nicodemus, a Pharisee were one of the few who were inclined to listen more to Jesus, yet, they too were invalidated and discredited by the chief priests and Pharisees.

Despite the many signs and wonders that Jesus did, those in power and position continue to invalidate Jesus. In John’s Gospel, those signs were miracles that pointed Jesus as the Christ. Yet, the more the people also created reasons to invalidate Jesus’ person. Instead of looking at Jesus to find the truth, “they all went home,” as the Gospel ended today.

The people went home and settled with their own beliefs. Their hearts remained unwilling to give up their personal agenda and selfish desires. They were unwilling to allow God to be their God. They too are unwilling to allow Jesus to challenge them and to change them in the way God desires them to be. Thus, instead of going back to the Temple or to the synagogue to pray and dialogue with God, they did not.

However, the Gospel invites us today to refocus our gaze on the officers of the Temple and with Nicodemus who allowed themselves to be encountered by Jesus. It is through them that we are being asked also today to see Jesus clearly, to recognize him better.

As there were many signs before that pointed to Jesus, let us also be more aware of the many signs God has given us today. There are many, every day, perhaps we just lack that awareness and keenness to recognize those signs of wonders and everyday miracles that Jesus did for us.

As we recognize Jesus’s presence better in our life, let that encounter with Jesus to make our hearts more discerning. In this way we can break the cycle of invalidating others. Hinaut pa.