KA-BURIT PARI-A

A person sent me a message via Text early in the morning as I woke up at 6 AM, she texted, “Kaburit ninyo magsayo oi, wa man lagi.” (It was a lie that you’ll be early, where are you.)

            I wondered immediately what Parish schedule I forgot that I overslept at 6 in the morning. Yet, I realized that I only have an afternoon Barrio Mass that day. That, I was certain. As I have become fully awake and checked my calendar of activities, slowly, I also realized that I was already pissed off that morning. “What a bad morning greeting I have received today!” I said to myself.

            As I pondered on that word, “ka-burit!” I have to recognize that I have become angry and quite stunned because of her nerves to text me early in the morning with those words. “How dare she!” again I said to myself. For me, it was very impolite and insensitive to send that kind of message. I felt I was attacked and disrespected. But I have to compose myself and at least would go out of my room still having a good morning.

I began to brew my coffee and slowly sipped its bitterness. It was bitter but was good! The coffee was good. That changed my mood and decided to let my anger and frustration to subside that I may be able to respond compassionately and lovingly. “I am a priest! I am a pastor! I am not an executive! I am not a boss!” I have to remind myself.

            I have to understand then, where she’s coming from and what prompted her to send me a disrespectful message like that. The day before that, I had an afternoon Barrio Mass. I left the convent 30 minutes before time since it was nearby. On my way there, I was informed that the people had been waiting for more than an hour. As I knew, the scheduled mass was at 5 PM. However, they were misinformed that it was at 4 PM. So, people already gathered in the chapel 15 minutes before 4.

            No wonder, people were already bored and could hardly smile when I arrived! Days before that, I told some of the Lay Leaders in the Parish that I would arrive 20 or 30 minutes before time in order to prepare, talk and mingle with people a bit before the mass. But then, such statement was challenged by this event! That gave me a good laugh as I remembered what I said!

 Mia culpa! Mia culpa! That I can only say to myself. She must have said to herself then, KA-BURIT PARI-A!

          

As I brought myself to the chapel for my morning prayer, I realized three things that I dare to embrace, accept, learn and live.

            First, not to react out of my emotions, but to respond with grace. So, I replied to her text with this message, “Do we have a schedule today?” (Later I got a reply that it was meant for another person and not for me.) Such grace, I can only attain if I would also remain more aware of my own human emotions, to accept as they are and to discern on how to respond better and not bitterly. With grace, as a pastor I am called to respond compassionately and lovingly. It is therefore not my call to condemn her and express my outrage in a toxic manner. Thus, I shared this with some of my close friends to be able to air out what I felt and get hold of myself, that I may be reminded that I am a priest, a pastor and a friend.

            Second, to be humble and not to be arrogant. I could make an excuse of reacting negatively even aggressively using my authority and entitlement of being a priest and Parish Administrator, yet, this is not what I am called to be. My arrogance will do no good to the community. My entitlement is empty and to demand it, is ruthless. My vocation will be meaningless when it has no witnessing. Hence, this is how I find humility to be so damn difficult! And I am still learning to be one.

            Third, Christ at the center of everything! I could just easily forget and ignore what the Gospel is all about in community building. I could just be indifferent and passive about it, preaching without action, teaching without believing. Yet, it is very unbecoming of me, a contradiction of what I have committed. Therefore, Christ should rather be at the center of everything, not myself, not my privileges, not my whims, not my feelings, not my titles. It is a call for me then, to find Christ and make Christ to be at the center of what I do, what I say, what I dream and what I pray for it is him that I follow and in him is the fullness of my joy and peace.

            With all of these, may I not become and be called, KA-BURIT PARI-A! Hinaut pa.